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on the floor
shattered
broken
personless
a nothing
or, at most
a splattered thing across the floor
sara
crying
laughing
believing
disbelieving
feeling her-Self rising from that floor
where
since infancy
for thirty years
she has lied
a shattered thing
splattered across that floor
for ten endless years I've battled
for sara
with sara
to take the risk
to place to paper
one word
of her battle
with the demons that lay within
silent screams emerged
blackness, death
terror
horrification
ominous symbols transforming
into backwards sentences and speech
as sara revealed
santana within
primed since infancy
to be
the family's perfect victim
valued
as a rentabl thing
for which there ought to be
no freedom
so war was declared
against sara, linda and me
her helpers, carers, and battlers
with malicious destructiveness
and arrogance in their belief
that for centuries
as satan's crew
that again, the battle they would win
but what they did not know
was the warrior that lie within
sara, linda, and me
this time,
this time satan's crew
"the family"
they would not win
sara's demons
implanted, programmed
struck time and again
a tug-of-war
pulled in, pulled out
cutting, drugging, Self-sacrifice
tricked sara into believing
her demons within
the battled raged on
until
on Halloween night
October three-one
two thousand and two
the shattered and splattered pieces
diamonds
started rising off that floor
no longer feeling like a shattered thing
the makings of a person
emerging
standing on that floor
with Voice
asking
you're not excited?
oh yes!
comes my reply
as I lie
prostrate
battled fatigued
exhausted on the floor!
. Jeanne Sarson November 1, 2002
Postscript: As a caring helper
I maintained presence with Sara as she moved through her survival
and healing journey. On the floor is my intimate and private response
to Sara's historical healing journey and to one moment of time when
Sara reclaimed Halloween as a night without terror. I decided to share
On the floor with Sara
to make visible the truthful reality that
a caring journey is travelled in many ways
some of the journey is
travelled in partnership with others
some of the journey is travelled
privately and alone
some is the carer's journey
some belongs to
the person healing
some, by necessity, is made known to the world
so the world may heal; however, throughout the journey healthy caring,
Self-care, and healing survival needs to be forever at the forefront
for all the travellers.
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